Literally what the hell is going on in here.
V3RY 1MP0R74N7 7H1N65 R B31N6 541D R16H7 N0W
Tr001y e%crutiating levels of importance.
ハハハハ 私たちは時間を無駄にしています。
N4H 7H15 15 V174L N 4L50 W3 4R3 PR3PP1N6 7H3 5T4G3 4 UR H1D30US 4ND D357RUC71V3 3NTR4NC3 1N70 7H3 RU1N4710N OF 53V3R4L 0F MY L1V3Z.
50 17'5 7000074LLY W0R7H 17.
お世辞を言おうとしているのね。
UHHHHHHHH FUXXXK Y34H 1 4M 817CH 7F??? 08V5 W3 L0V3 CH405 H3R3.
R16H7 8UDDY?
1 541D R11111116H7 8UDDY??
not speakin
E%cuse my atrociously ill-timed but completely necesarry interruption, but I w00ld like to say—
あ、彼は何か人種差別的なことを言うだろう。
837 1 C4N 8347 U 2 7H3 PUNCH 0Y573R F4RM3R
ハハハ。
I'm choosing to ignore that 8=). I would like to offer that I am not one for chaos, personally.
mmmy3h, b4b3, 1m tot3s lov1ng th3 prom1s3 of a sh1th1v3 b4n4yn4yz rumpus, but cons1d3r1ng wh4t th1s story 1s 4bt...
4W C0M3 0N DR34M GRL, W3 C4N H4V3 A L1L FUN B3F0R3 7H3 GRU854UC3 H175 7H3 F4N. 17'5 H4RML3XXX.
R16H7 8UDDY?
-_-'
CM0NNNNN FL0UND3R
please leavwe me alone
O+kay but see, this is exactly what we're talking abo+ut. He's literally just standing there.
LMF40 UR FUXXX1N6 J0K1N6 R16H7
U R N07 53R10U5LY D3F3ND1N6 7H15 WH1NY L1L P155WR166L3R WH3N H35 D0N3 4ND 541D W4Y W0R53 5H17 L1K3 15 61V1N6 H1M 4 H4RD 71M3 T4800??
50RRY 15 FUN B4NN3D. N0 1 T0LD M3 FUN W45 B4NN3D K50Z D1D Y0U KN0W FUN 607 84NN3D
:o)
ch1ll out a lil, b4bez
u got 4 whol3 4ss story 2 r3coll3ct and g1v3 4mpor4 4 h4rd t1m3 1n
is it at all possible to not givwe me a hard time?
sincerely im vwondering if theres a vway to get outta all this torment vwith evwen the 8ASEST of my dignities spared?
0V3R MY D34D 80DY X 7
sorry crod4wg, w3 4ll know how th1s on3 3ndz
r4w 4ss d34l
fucking. typical.
Which is why I think so+me o+f us can ease o+ff fo+r at least the remainder o+f the intro+, Mituna.
UU6HHH6HJ5DJ8S6BH6HJ38JL5F1N3 1 GU355 W3'R3 4LL FUCXXX1N6 4ND 5UCXXX1N6 8R1N38ULG3 T0D4Y. H4PPY, F1N5? N0 FUN UNL355 L0CH L0V3L355 F33L5 1NCLUD3D.
tootl3s, loch lov3less 1s h1l4r1ous but l3t h1m off. you know h3s b33n thru a lot.
Because o+f yo+u, specifically.
U6H 7UL35 U KN0W 1 C4N7 R35157 WH3N U C4LL ME 7007L35.
1 knoooow <33333
<3333333 LM40 CM3R3
eughh
P99kie.
yo
Are we inv9lved?
lol hell nah
＼(=^..^)/ < I'M ALSO NOT REALLY INVOLVED XD
8=) That's a good thing. I w001d prefer you didn't get more tangled up in this, uh.
≽•u•≼ < SHITSHOW?
8=| ....... Apt.
:o)
/ᐠ-˕-マⳊ < UGH PURRSOZ IS RIGHT I AM KIND OF THERE FOR A LOT OF IT. AT LEAST MY PARTS ARE FUN!
I'm glad I play a 8it of a role, too. Even if it isn't as fun as others'.
≽^•⩊•^≼ < MOG WAIIIT ARANYA~ I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE IN HERE!!!
Yes, it's 8rief but I play an important role in revealing the psyches of both Kurloz and Mituna here!
＼(=^..^)/ < WOW THAT'S
^._.^ < KIND OF TERRIFYING ACTUALLY?
:o?
::::(
誰かが実際にこれを始めなければならないでしょう。
you could probably start 1t out 1f you want...
1t's your story too and youre our t1me g1rl and all, so... whenever you th1nk we're ready 1s gonna be f1ne 1mo...
。。。
Perhaps the ungovernable rustblood should take the reins? 8=) Since her embarrassing behaviour is the catalyst for this to begin with.
horuss come on... be cool...
負えない。。。 最後に触れた時に小さな青い染みに変わった人からのこんな自信に満ちた言葉! 今度は噛み切ってほしいですか?もしかしたら、 ショックで逆流したクソの溜まりから抜け出し、 自分よりも上手に人と話す方法を一瞬覚えるかもしれない。
}:/
考えたことはありますか?
As fun as it is to try and transcribe your gutterblooded drivel into something legible,
お前の目をえぐり出してやる。
I think it's in our interest to Get to the Point.
8=)
L0UD 5M3XXXY 5N0661N6 N01535 XXX R473D C0NCUP15C3N7 M4CK1N6 H4PP3N1N6
3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3 th3r3s SO much wrong w1th you h3h3h3h3h3h3
Quickly.
Ostensibly the Main Character of this shitshow is too busy getting aqcuainted with the back of his flushed GF's throat to get us started. Which is fine, since he's about to have the worst 12 sweeps of his life. Not all of him, most of him only has to suffer through the first 9 before he martyrs the horrors out of his skull. Then it's fine. Literally. Spoilers but Mituna's ideal end is the one where he ends up burning a gaping hole in the bottom of his thinkpan, and there's no pressure from the endless universes of the damned to make it bend at the seams anymore. Just the sweet, sweet breeze of not giving a single solitary fuck, immediately followed by dying. Chef's kiss. He'd do it himself if he wasn't so bad at it.
The Witch of Space, the catalyst for the forthcoming Angel of Endless Doom, the Double Death Beacon, acts almost purely on instinct. She grips her weapons of choice—the Stiches in Time—in each fist. It's cathartic, almost, realising she could rend the fabric of space into whatever shape she needed it to be. The soothing knowledge that chaos is nothing in the face of predetermination. She can do anything she wants, and it matters. Not to her, but to something.
She rears her arms back and catches the tips of her needles in the weft of space, widening the gap. There's a single moment of hesitation, as the tension holding space together deigns to resist, like it has forgotten who the fuck she is. The Prince urges her on, subtly, behind her pan, like she needs the motivation, and she tenses the muscles in her arms and tears the veil from the readers' eyes.
C7RL
=======>
AFTERMATH #1
This is a draft. Pretend it uses all a those esoteric as fuck troll words idk.
The cavernous emptiness of the mechanical surgery blockcluster is just fine. Mituna does the math: the past 4 sweeps have been an irate hive of burning, ripping noise. The past 19 hours have been a boon, a hydrocodone-induced hollowness that dulls the shrieking down to a manageable whimper. So that's roughly 0.02% of his life spent in a semi-decent state. He wonders if that's worth it.
He finishes vomiting over the side of his rehabilitation cocoon and sinks back down into the medicated slime. The Medicullers will clean it up again. He barely remembers the lecture after the procedure, just the reeling vertigo and the roaring psychic teeth of countless sufferers. Which wasn't new, but the nitrous dealer did a really great job of numbing his lobe stem until he wasn't anything for a while.
The worst part was waking up and realising he was, in fact, still something.
Mituna's fingers slide over the raised bump under the skin on his wrist where the AC sensor is hooked up to his nervous system. The differential transducer beeps steadily, measuring his pump biscuit. He rests his temple on the edge of the cocoon, watching the slow, trailing counterclockwise rotation of its current sensor. There's a subtle, repetitive tingle whenever it lines up with the stretchblock sensor probe, printing out the spike history and renudging the magnetic domains in his chitin. Every physical detail of his body turned into easy-to-understand data.
He, again, debates telling them about the howling. Maybe someone can help him this time. Maybe they can feed the numbing venom from one of those analgesic slitherbeasts right into his own cocoon at his hive.
He says a dozen or so maybes and they don't stick. The nausea rises up into his gag tunnel again, but he's too tired to be scared of it anymore. Drifting in and out of semi-conciousness for almost an entire night has a way of wearing a dude out. What's worse: being haunted or being comatose?
His casual catastrophising is interrupted by a change in air pressure. This unit has been abandoned all night, with only the occasional peek in from a fraught mediculler on their rounds. He (his data) is stable so they usually leave as quick as they came. But this is different. The gentle tink tonk of metal on lineoleum.
:=D Oh, hallo!
:=? I did not think someone would be in here!
WH0 7H3 FUCK 4R3 Y0U
8=O Oh meine güte, what di%gusting language!!
3=| But I understand, those at your rung on the sociobiological ladder cannot help it. Worry not, dear grub, I will not hold your incorrigible impulses against you.
G0 4W4Y
:=) Nein, I will not allow you to suppe in the many colored tubers and fermented grain slop of your own uncivil tantrums.
3=) It is the responsible thing to do as one of my stately status to provide emotional and behavioural guidance to the dregs of our civilization.
8=D And you are an excellent patient zero to help prepare my extensive lifetime of corrective counseling. You are thankful for this!
M4N... 1 D1DN7 UND3R574ND H4LF 7H3 5H17 Y0U JU57 541D 70 M3 BU7 1 KN0W 17 5H0ULD P155 M3 0FF
570P M4K1N6 4LL 7H053 57UP1D F4C35
:=O Faces?
Y0UR3 M4K1N6 MY NU6 4CH3 4ND 1M L173R4LLY FL0471N6 1N 3XXX7R3M3 P4NNUM81N6 5TUP0R JU1C3
:=) I understand. This is a common occurrence for the psychically cursed ochre hued laborors.
0H MY FUCX1N6 606
:=) You're recovering from some sort of necesarry thinkpan augmentation to counteract the detrimental but technologically necessary pitfalls of your mental abilities. Am I correct?
> 60NN4 3ND 17 4LL 4641N
:=( It's so unfortunate that you cannot achieve what is, to me, the comparitively easy acuity needed to pursue your mechanical inclinations without medical intervention. My sympathy nodules are overflowing with a respectfully empathetic ichor.
D0 Y0U 7H1NK 1F 1 R1P 0U7 7H15 57481L1Z3R 50M3 574FF W1LL C0M3 4ND M4K3 Y0U L34V3 0R D0 Y0U 7H1NK MY V45CUL4R 5Y573M W1LL F41L F1R57
8=O Oh je. If the pain is that unbearable, perhaps I can save you the effort und contact the appropriate parties for you.
...
:=) Thereby eliminating the risk of such an embarrassing predicament as dying from a complication from a standard procedure.
Mituna wishes desperately that the thing screwed into to his posture rod didn't dampen his psionics to near uselessness. He knows from experience that words aren't enough to shut up hemo-obsessed bitchompers like this guy.
N07 7H47 17 M4773R5 51NC3 1 7H1NK UR JU57 60NN4 K33P H4V1N6 M057 0F 7H15 C0NV3R54710N W17H Y0UR53LF
BU7 MY PR0C3DUR3 W45 4C7U4LLY 5UPER UN0RTH0D0XXX
3CCL3514571C4L L3V3L5 0F F1N3553 R3QU1R3D 70 K33P M3 FR0M 8171N6 PR083CHU73 0N 7H3 3XXXC1510N 5L48
:=/ As intriguing as it sounds, could you refrain from using vulgar references? I know it will be hard for you, so I forgive you for your transgre%ions, but let's try to be better.
20RRY 1 W0N7 M4K3 R3F3R3NC35 70 4NY7H1N6 1NN4PPR0PR1473
L1K3 1N51NU471N6 7H47 1 W45 64661N6 0N D347H5 3N60R63D 50ULH03 83F0R3 1 G07 UNC3R3MON10U5LY Y01NXXX3D 0FF 7H3 R34P3R5 8UL63 4ND 84CK 70 L1F3 1N 71M3 70 M4K3 U 45 UNC0MF0R748L3 45 1 C4N FR0M 316H7 F337 4W4Y
X=( Ugh.
N1N3 F337 N0W
X=( Das war... truly unpleasant. I understand you can't help it, since your inferior genetics make you prone to hideous language and an overall lack in character, but perhaps salvaging your sense of decency is out of my abilities for now.
3=( However, as I am still early in my journey to managing the well-being of those hatched unfortuitously beneath me, I won't allow myself to feel guilt about this presently insurmountable hurdle.
WH0
4R3 Y0U T4LK1N6 T0
8=D Oh, my natural brilliance has come up with a better idea!
:=D Instead of trying to explain to you the benefits of using proper language, I shall emulate the royals that decorate the most illustrious of our grubhood fictions, and shall soothe the savage beast.
:=3 In this scenario, you are the savage.
He sinks down a bit deeper into the slime. Mituna is simply too tired to come up with any creative ways to kill himself in front of this foppish blueblood lunatic. His full range of motion isn't back yet (on account of the roughly 10 alloyed steel screws they put in him) and his psionics are still out of commission for a while. He can't drown in sopor, obviously, and his foodsack is probably too empty for him to choke on his own vomit. His eyes glance back down to the wires and tubes feeding into his arms.
WH47 H4PP3N3D 7W0 Y0UR L365
:=D Ah, you've noticed my fortgeschrittener knieersatz!
ALRIGHT
YOU CANNOT BE TALKING LIKE THAT
:=O Forgive me, in your vernacular you would perhaps refer to them as augmented knee joints!
:=D Aren't they lovely? The filigree is mein own design. Look, upon the delicate swirls, the elegant way it connects to my physiologie, the juxtaposition of form AND function! The professurgeons were very enamoured by my diagrammes.
YOUR CALF MUSCLES ARE GONNA ATROPHY
:=?
IF YOU KEEP YOUR TOE EXTENDED THE MUSCLE THAT PULLS YOUR FOOT BACK IS GOING TWO STOP DEVELOPING AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO WALK ON YOUR HEELS ANYMORE
:=) The pressure on my heels will be reduced but not eliminated! My muscular definition will not atrophy.
IF YOU'RE USING THAT MUSCLE LESS THAN THE OTHER ONES YOUR LEGS ARE GOING TO GET WEIRD AND YOUR ENDOSKELETON IS GONNA GET ALL WARPED N STUPID LOOKING
:=|
DUMBASS
>:=| Hm. I am choosing to ignore your attitude. I will consider considering your opinion on my designs.
3=| Maybe you're unaware, but it is not expected of me to be perfect on my first pass. I have a very long life ahead of me and it is only natural that I stumble before I develop my trotting gait. Yes, I have the benefit of time on my side.
...
:=( In fact, I feel a bit of noncommittal pity towards your situation. Do you allow yourself to make mistakes? It must be so difficult living without the wriggle room to grow and change as you develop.
...
X=( Ah, my apologies. I let my emotions take control of me. It's so difficult to remember that your kind is prone to unscrupulous outbursts. If it weren't for your deficit in personality I would understand your observation better. Alas, yet another molting pain I must learn to endure as I grow into my role as a wise and efficient caretaker.
:=) It would be silly of me to dwell on this. Isn't it invigorating, going through the challenges of life with your head held high and the knowledge that you've become a better person for even your tresspasses!
...
:=O What are you doing there?
DISCONNECTING MY LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM
X=D Don't be ridiculous. Here, I will soothe your traumas.